There is no final say but a place of submission and Love
“Submission does not mean your husband has the final say” was the very statement that provoked the mind of a friend recently and generated a lengthy debate on the submission in marriage theme. Of course I added my voice to the heated discussion which was very revealing as I saw, appreciated and struggled to come to terms with some of the entrenched positions or perceptions held by some on the subject. On the one hand, I felt a little sad for women when I observed some of the “biblical” interpretations and stances of fellow men on the forum. And judging from the contributions of some of the females on the forum, I realized their struggle to come to terms with some of the male contributions. On the other hand, it was not surprising that a single Christian virtue submission and scriptural verses on the theme could merit very varied interpretations…
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Relationships are the best thing in this life. It could be with God, parents, children, husband, wife, friends, cousins and the list is endless. However today , I want to share mine which was an emotional one where all sorts of butterfly feelings interplay and most often demands made.
Love is a beautiful thing. I love love. I had the notion before getting to the Uni that the first man I will love will be my husband so I prayed that it be so. No it wasn’t the case. I got my heart broken because I never really knew what the world had define a love relationship between a boy and a girl. The world had so fixed the sequence in a way that, once the guy makes his intention known and the lady says yes.. the first few weeks and in a few cases months, then the next big thing is SEX and more sex as long as the relationship last till you get to the next one and the sequence replays itself.
That is not what I was educated to accept and with the love of God shared in my heart that is not the part I was to go. I am supposed to keep my body till marriage and freely surrender to my husband. The more you said no the sex after prolonged kissing trails, you are looked at as mean and not considerate. So what is there to do but pray for a better option that will not hurt you once you say no to SEX. That was how I got into my first long distance relationship.
Now see the logic. My partner will not be physically around so no demands of sex will be made and i won’t have to turn down the demand and end up heart broken. There will be no physical kissing and the likes. Again this is not to say that long distance relationships do not have their own sin packages. Yes sin package as it demands will move from demanding long calls, snoopy lifestyle to nude pictures and skype stripping and more and if those too turned down… you find yourself at the same spot.
The point I want to leave us with is this. Let love be genuine and never compromise your beliefs for temporary pleasures. Also do not settle for a convenient relationship but go for someone that values you and your principles and at the center of your love affair should be God and his ways. It is not about a guy in church as from my experience those are the ones that encourage you to fornicate with your eyes wide open under the umbrella of grace. Grace is not sloppy. Do not use long distance relationships as an escape from pre-marital sex because if you will not have sex physically , I am telling you if your foundation in God is not solid you will have phone sex and every other kind of social media relationship perversion.
Go for a relationship that adds to you and not one which subtracts from you. Loving God in this age and time is not easy both for young Christian gents and ladies but I am more thankful that we have the Holy Ghost and with Him we can run through a troop and leap over walls.
What is your take on long distance relationships?
If we end at obeying, we will eat the good the of the land (Isa1:19)
If we end at serving only , we get blessings ( Exo 23:25-26)
But if we combine our obedience with service, we enjoy prosperity and pleasures both now and for eternity. (Job36:11)
Make your pick?